I am 24 now

I thought I would be at a much better place in my life by now

I just don't know what to do

This year is probably going to be a hard one

I guess I should be grateful to have made it this far

I can only hope things shape up and look back at this at 25 a happier better person

Cus I sure am not very happy these days

It's my birthday

I'm 23

Praise me

I could use some right now....

Now I'm 22

....

So yeah...there's that

Drinking time begins now

James Doohan is dead

He will be missed

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

I am now two decades old..

20

I feel old..



Here's to 20 more...

......

....

If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?

Be honest..or don't...

I just want to actually see responses to something I posted in my journal for once...

they kicked me out of college

my world has fallen on me

I dont know what to do

I feel so lost..

Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	In love
Your meeting was by	Fate
They are your	Shoulder to cry on
You are their	Sweetheart
Your love will	Never end
Quiz created with MemeGen!

I finally found myself a girl

And not just any girl...

The most wonderful, beautiful, fantastic girl there ever was..

And I am madly and passionately in love with her

There is just one tiny problem...

As much as I love her... she loves me back just as much...

You say that doesn't sound like problem?

Well it is when you can sleep or work or be attentive in class because all you can think about is how much you need to be with her and how right after last class is over you are going to go to her room and be with her and damn the homework, since being with her is all that is important..

I spent the weekend with her...

No, I don't mean that I spent the day with her...

I actually mean that I came to her room 12:30pm Friday afternoon and did not leave her room until 5 am Monday morning

I just lover her soooo much it makes my heart hurt

I am just afraid it will be a dream...some fevered imagining and that any minute now I will wake up...

Barring that; I am afraid I am not good enough for her...that I, who has never kissed a girl, let alone had any type of a relationship with one; couldn't possibly satisfy the epitome of perfection that is the girl I love..

She completes me in a way I only dreamed possible...

I feel like so much more of a complete person because she is with me..

I feel a longing everyday to be with her...I need her like I have never needed anything else before...

I always believed in the idea that there was somebody out there for everyone, that there was somebody out there who was meant for you and loved only you. Unfortunately for me, I was pretty convinced that I would probably never find my one person.

Now I know that I have

We are like two halves of the same person

We have the same thoughts at almost he same time

She is the best there could be

Sleeping in my bed now seems...unappealing...because she is not there by my side

What a lucky man I am to have finally found someone who loves me as much as I love them...

I need to hold her in my arms and love her...

I need her now...

But I know that she is back in her room sleeping..

And for the first time in the last few days...I am not there next to her..

I have not posted here in LJ in exactly one year....

looking back...not posting for a year was just stupid...

what was I thinking?....

Well anyway, I'm in college now...

gonna go soak my brain...

work makes it hurt...

You're René Descartes.

Which Rene(e) are you?. Take the Rene(e) Quiz by Paradox

Congratulations, you're Londo Mollari, proud Centauri ambassador and later emperor.
Which Babylon 5 Character are you?
Take the Babylon 5 Quizby Paradox.

so true

Your magical style is Magus.

What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox

Pirates of the Caribbean!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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oh yeah

1 year of Livejournal

Only 104 entries

318 comments posted on other people's journals

150 posted in my journal

One year and I am not dead yet...

Date:	2003-08-07 23:17
Subject:	I'm fucking tired of this shit
Security:	Public
Mood:	numb
Music:	Kid Rock & Cheyrl Crow - Picture

I really fucking am

my life has no fucking meaning

I have neither ambition or drive

I live in a fantasy fucking world of comic books and tv to dull myself to the fact that I have wasted 18 years of life I will never get back

I can't take it

I am fed up with life

I have said it before, but never felt it as strongly as I have today...

I fucking give up

on everything

life like this is to hard

I love like a fucking recluse in my room all alone

so many people show they care about me and I just shut them out like I am too good for them..

I hate myself

you guys deserve better then me, I have always believed that

I guess that is the really reason

I don't deserve friends like you

I understand what they mean when they say every man makes his own hell

well I made it and here I am..

I am lonely, but I keep myself isolated

I am sad, but keep away everything that could make me happy

I am not at peace, but I keep myself constant discord

I hate myself, but I do nothing to correct it

I'm just too tired to deal with this shit anymore

and as always, I have nobody to blame but my own self

I am, as they say, my own worst enemy

arr
***********

anybody who want to call me up to do something is more then welcome to

even just to say hi

I could really use it right now

I really need to get out...

arr

As some of you may or not remember for a long time I wore a black braided bracelet with metal beads around my right wrist.

The bracelet meant a lot to me for reasons I will not disclose at this moment.

It had slowly unraveled over time and was wearing out

Today it finally broke off

I will miss it

but I will keep it somewhere safe

I am also lonley.

nobody ever calls me

when they do I am not home

I need love

That's all I am saying