urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x 私は死の人否定した菓子を包含する... である Cthulhu-X 2009-05-13T04:16:59Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:39317 2009-05-13T04:15:53Z 2009-05-13T04:16:59Z I am 24 now<br /><br />I thought I would be at a much better place in my life by now<br /><br />I just don't know what to do<br /><br />This year is probably going to be a hard one<br /><br />I guess I should be grateful to have made it this far<br /><br />I can only hope things shape up and look back at this at 25 a happier better person<br /><br />Cus I sure am not very happy these days urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:39139 2008-05-13T17:18:57Z 2008-05-13T17:18:57Z It's my birthday<br /><br />I'm 23<br /><br />Praise me<br /><br />I could use some right now.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:38905 2007-05-13T04:01:58Z 2007-05-13T04:02:32Z Now I'm 22<br /><br />....<br /><br />So yeah...there's that urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:38146 2006-05-13T04:07:30Z 2006-05-13T04:07:30Z Drinking time begins now urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:36962 2005-07-20T18:56:29Z 2005-07-20T18:56:29Z James Doohan is dead<br /><br />He will be missed urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:36481 2005-05-13T04:03:06Z 2005-05-13T04:03:06Z <b>HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!! </b><br /><br />I am now two decades old..<br /><br />20<br /><br />I feel old..<br /><br /><br /><br />Here's to 20 more... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:36278 2005-05-13T03:59:54Z 2005-05-13T03:59:54Z ...... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:35963 2005-05-13T03:58:20Z 2005-05-13T03:58:20Z .... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:35634 2005-04-19T03:03:18Z 2005-04-19T03:03:18Z If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought?<br /><br />Be honest..or don't...<br /><br />I just want to actually see responses to <i>something</i> I posted in my journal for once... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:34369 2005-01-04T00:23:16Z 2005-01-04T00:23:16Z they kicked me out of college<br /><br />my world has fallen on me<br /><br />I dont know what to do<br /><br />I feel so lost.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:33325 2004-11-12T03:04:58Z 2004-11-12T03:04:58Z <table style="font-family : Arial, Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid black;" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" align="center"><form action="http://memegen.net/viewmeme.pl?meme=1074678795" method="POST"><tr><th colspan="2" bgcolor="#000000"><font color="#DDDD88">Love by <a href="http://profiles.myspace.com/users/210029"><font color="#DDDD88">ruby mae</font></a></font></th></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your name</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="Your name" value="Isaac" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your partner</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;"><input type="text" name="Your partner" value="Jacqui" size="20"></span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">You two are</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">In love</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your meeting was by</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Fate</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">They are your</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Shoulder to cry on</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">You are their</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Sweetheart</span></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#333333" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #FFFFFF;">Your love will</span></td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA" style="border: 1px solid black;"><span style="color: #000000;">Never end</span></td></tr><input type="hidden" name="un" value="ruby mae"><input type="hidden" name="meme" value="1074678795"><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><input type="submit" value="Fill Out Your Answers and Try it!"></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" align="center" bgcolor="#000000"><font size="-1" color="#FFFFFF"><a href="http://memegen.net/"><font color="#DDDD88">Quiz created with MemeGen</font></a>!</font></td></tr></form></table> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:33080 2004-09-21T15:18:14Z 2004-09-21T15:18:14Z I finally found myself a girl<br /><br />And not just any girl...<br /><br />The most wonderful, beautiful, fantastic girl there ever was..<br /><br />And I am madly and passionately in love with her<br /><br />There is just one tiny problem...<br /><br />As much as I love her... she loves me back just as much...<br /><br />You say that doesn't sound like problem?<br /><br />Well it is when you can sleep or work or be attentive in class because all you can think about is how much you need to be with her and how right after last class is over you are going to go to her room and be with her and damn the homework, since being with her is all that is important..<br /><br />I spent the weekend with her...<br /><br />No, I don't mean that I spent the day with her...<br /><br />I actually mean that I came to her room 12:30pm Friday afternoon and did not leave her room until 5 am Monday morning<br /><br />I just lover her soooo much it makes my heart hurt<br /><br />I am just afraid it will be a dream...some fevered imagining and that any minute now I will wake up...<br /><br />Barring that; I am afraid I am not good enough for her...that I, who has never kissed a girl, let alone had any type of a relationship with one; couldn't possibly satisfy the epitome of perfection that is the girl I love..<br /><br />She completes me in a way I only dreamed possible...<br /><br />I feel like so much more of a complete person because she is with me..<br /><br />I feel a longing everyday to be with her...I need her like I have never needed anything else before...<br /><br />I always believed in the idea that there was somebody out there for everyone, that there was somebody out there who was meant for you and loved only you. Unfortunately for me, I was pretty convinced that I would probably never find my one person.<br /><br />Now I know that I have<br /><br />We are like two halves of the same person<br /><br />We have the same thoughts at almost he same time<br /><br />She is the best there could be<br /><br />Sleeping in my bed now seems...unappealing...because she is not there by my side<br /><br />What a lucky man I am to have finally found someone who loves me as much as I love them...<br /><br />I need to hold her in my arms and love her...<br /><br />I need her now...<br /><br />But I know that she is back in her room sleeping..<br /><br />And for the first time in the last few days...I am not there next to her.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:32712 2004-09-03T06:48:02Z 2004-09-03T06:48:02Z I have not posted here in LJ in exactly one year....<br /><br />looking back...not posting for a year was just stupid...<br /><br />what was I thinking?....<br /><br />Well anyway, I'm in college now...<br /><br />gonna go soak my brain...<br /><br />work makes it hurt... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:32229 2003-08-26T16:14:33Z 2003-08-26T16:14:33Z <html><center><img src="http://www.rampantgecko.com/paradox/rd.jpg" heigh="175" width="175"><br><br />You're René Descartes. <br><font size="1"><br /><a href="http://www.rampantgecko.com/paradox/reneequiz.html">Which Rene(e) are you?</a>. Take the Rene(e) Quiz by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/girlwithagun">Paradox</a></font></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:31779 2003-08-26T16:09:59Z 2003-08-26T16:09:59Z <img src="http://www.rampantgecko.com/paradox/londo.jpg"><br>Congratulations, you're Londo Mollari, proud Centauri ambassador and later emperor.<br> Which Babylon 5 Character are you? <br><a href="http://www.rampantgecko.com/paradox/babylonquiz.html">Take the Babylon 5 Quiz</a>by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/girlwithagun">Paradox</a>.<br /><br />so true urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:31632 2003-08-26T05:52:33Z 2003-08-26T05:52:33Z <html><center><img src="http://www.rampantgecko.com/paradox/mage.jpg"><br><br />Your magical style is Magus. <br><font size="1"><br /><a href="http://www.rampantgecko.com/paradox/magicquiz.html">What type of Magic do you work?</a>. Take the Magical Style Quiz by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/girlwithagun">Paradox</a></font></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:31479 2003-08-26T05:32:11Z 2003-08-26T05:32:11Z <img src="http://images.quizilla.com/S/SuperCurlz/1059385719_topPirates.JPG" border="0" alt="CWINDOWSDesktopPirates.JPG"><br>Pirates of the Caribbean!<br /><br><br><a href="http://quizilla.com/users/SuperCurlz/quizzes/What%20movie%20Do%20you%20Belong%20in%3F(many%20different%20outcomes!)/"> <font size="-1">What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)</font></a><br> <font size="-3">brought to you by <a href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla</a></font><br /><br /><br />oh yeah urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:31103 2003-08-20T03:14:53Z 2003-08-20T03:14:53Z 1 year of Livejournal<br /><br />Only 104 entries<br /><br />318 comments posted on other people's journals<br /><br />150 posted in my journal <br /><br />One year and I am not dead yet... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:30738 2003-08-08T03:46:42Z 2003-08-08T03:46:42Z Kid Rock & Cheyrl Crow - Picture I really fucking am<br /><br />my life has no fucking meaning<br /><br />I have neither ambition or drive <br /><br />I live in a fantasy fucking world of comic books and tv to dull myself to the fact that I have wasted 18 years of life I will never get back<br /><br />I can't take it<br /><br />I am fed up with life<br /><br />I have said it before, but never felt it as strongly as I have today...<br /><br />I fucking give up<br /><br />on everything<br /><br />life like this is to hard<br /><br />I love like a fucking recluse in my room all alone<br /><br />so many people show they care about me and I just shut them out like I am too good for them..<br /><br />I hate myself<br /><br />you guys deserve better then me, I have always believed that<br /><br />I guess that is the really reason <br /><br />I don't deserve friends like you<br /><br />I understand what they mean when they say every man makes his own hell<br /><br />well I made it and here I am..<br /><br />I am lonely, but I keep myself isolated<br /><br />I am sad, but keep away everything that could make me happy<br /><br />I am not at peace, but I keep myself constant discord<br /><br />I hate myself, but I do nothing to correct it<br /><br />I'm just too tired to deal with this shit anymore<br /><br />and as always, I have nobody to blame but my own self<br /><br />I am, as they say, my own worst enemy<br /><br />arr<br />***********<br /><br />anybody who want to call me up to do something is more then welcome to<br /><br />even just to say hi<br /><br />I could really use it right now<br /><br />I really need to get out...<br /><br />arr urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:30648 2003-07-16T02:25:15Z 2003-07-16T02:25:15Z As some of you may or not remember for a long time I wore a black braided bracelet with metal beads around my right wrist. <br /><br />The bracelet meant a lot to me for reasons I will not disclose at this moment. <br /><br />It had slowly unraveled over time and was wearing out<br /><br />Today it finally broke off<br /><br />I will miss it<br /><br />but I will keep it somewhere safe<br /><br />I am also lonley.<br /><br />nobody ever calls me<br /><br />when they do I am not home<br /><br />I need love<br /><br />That's all I am saying urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:30216 2003-07-05T08:29:48Z 2003-07-05T08:29:48Z ok time for another episode of "I am a melodramatic suckfest"<br /><br />starring: Me<br /><br />starting July 8, I will be essentially all alone cus sister goes off for trip for a month<br /><br />all people who feel the desire to amend my suffering, feel free to call mo or something...<br /><br />I am so board and have nothing to do and nobody to do anything with...<br /><br />everybody is gone away... <br /><br />save me from the unrelenting tormaent...<br /><br />so yeah, I'm done with that...<br /><br />go about your business as usual..<br /><br /><b>on a separate note</b><br /><br />RIP Barry White<br /><br />you truly were "the First, the Last, My Everything' <br /><br />I'm going to miss you Barry White<br /><br />you was the man urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:30014 2003-06-11T20:45:06Z 2003-06-11T20:46:40Z well maybe not <b>forever</b>, just till the 30th...<br /><br />I am leaving at 3 o'clock tomorrow to do an interview in Sabastapol, CA for the project I want to do on my year off...<br /><br />then I am going to visit my family in Los Angeles who I have not seen in a while...<br /><br />be back the 30th at 12:36 am <br /><br />sorry I didn't tell anybody sooner...<br /><br />I am going to miss you guys...<br /><br />oh the fun we could have had...<br /><br />oh well...<br /><br />see you guys in July... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:29565 2003-06-11T03:34:00Z 2003-06-11T03:35:36Z A sad day today....<br /><br />my head's reign of unwashedness ended today<br /><br />I am now at liberty of disclosing just how long my head went unwashed...<br /><br />bet you'd like to know...<br /><br />before I tell, guess..<br /><br />after a satisfactory amount of guesses are posted I will post the answer<br /><br />happy guessing... ;) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:29435 2003-06-08T05:51:52Z 2003-06-08T05:51:52Z this comic expresses my feelings better then words<br /><br /><a href="http://www.keaner.net/journal/03-02-28.html">http://www.keaner.net/journal/03-02-28.html</a><br /><br />I have not been too happy lately... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:cthulhu_x:29003 2003-06-03T22:24:23Z 2003-06-03T22:24:23Z what should I wear to prom? I need suggestions.<br /><br />also if I buy a ticket and bring a date, does the date have to buy a ticket too?<br /><br />what should I wear? tell me quick. only days away..